Day #99: This is it!

The day has come! It is sunny today as we all exchange phone numbers, hugs, and well wishes. My bags are packed and I am mostly ready to go except that it doesn't quite feel final. I even handed in my uniform today - but I walked out of work confused by a conglomerate of many different feelings. Who knows when I will see any of these people again? I have become really close to a lot of people (and to Juneau) within the last 3 weeks (and of course over the course of the summer), and I've never experienced this kind of goodbye where we are all literally headed to different corners of the world. And how can I tear myself away from such a beautiful landscape, especially when it's sunny on my final day? It seems to be just a reminder of how wonderful this place really is. Certainly I will miss the job; all the tourists, locals, friends, and coworkers, the masses of incredible people that I have met and been touched by throughout the summer, are the real reason I will probably remain in the tourism industry. I thought I was ready to come home, and now here I am wishing I just had a few more days to spend with my new friends.

These next months are going to be an incredible time of reflection back on my breath-taking summer here in Alaska. I'm so fortunate to have had this experience - not just the work experience but the experience of a lifetime, and it has really opened so many doors for the future. I finally think I have found a niche. I don't think I am meant to work 12 months out of the year, but I still have so much time to figure all of this out. The real question on everyone's lips is "are you coming back next summer?" My answer is that I will definitely come back to visit Juneau at some point in my life, but it is now within my comfort zone and I aim to remove myself from that zone so that I might be able to grow more as a person; if I come back to Alaska, I will drive the highways around Fairbanks. But lately, and idea has been fluttering around in my head for next summer: driving in Yellowstone. Who knows. So much can change in a year.

I have grown so much this summer. Thank you to everyone and everything that has been a part of this growth - I really couldn't have done it without all of you. I promise that this isn't goodbye, only "see you later," and we will try our best to stay in touch. At least we will always have Juneau, Alaska to remember together!

Day #95: Northstar Trekking

Wow! I was privileged enough to get to go up onto the Mendenhall Glacier for a short hike via helicopter today with Northstar Trekking. I have to say, of all the things I've done here this summer, this was at the top of the list (right next to the Taku Lodge tour that Daniel and I did). I recommend this tour for anyone and everyone travelling to Juneau! The day was amazing, comparatively speaking, because we could see the tops of the mountains and it wasn't raining, so the helicopter ride was pretty spectacular. The guides were awesome - one of them was a great woman who, just like me, simply loves being out in the great outdoors - and we walked all over the glacier and took some great photos. So the views were spectacular, the walk was just as cool, as per usual, I drank some glacier water (delicious, of course), and I got to wear crampons which made me feel right at home. Amanda, the guide, was saying that walking on the glacier was going to make me miss Alaska. I believe it. Especially after this tour today, I am pretty bummed about going home on Friday! Even though there is so much good stuff heading my way, I will miss the beauty of this place as well as my new friends.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. Jessica and I went to see the movie Mount St. Elias - a documentary about some Austrian men who climbed the Mountain and achieved the longest vertical ski descent (18,000 feet from summit to ocean). Their journey was not without complications though, and they got stuck in a blizzard as well as having some problems with avalanches. I recommend the movie! It made me really excited to climb some mountains this fall. Afterward we went and got frozen yogurt, which was amazing. That was the second of three days off! It's been relaxing but I am anxious to get back to work and finish up this time here. Oh well, it will come soon enough... :)

Day #94: Barely Hanging in There

Only a few more days are left here in Juneau. Things are winding down, and the feel of this place is already different. It seems appropriate that the leaves are beginning to change and the days are starting to feel really short - everything about life here is falling asleep as the colder months begin to take hold. The tours feel different; it's like the tourists know that this is the end and they feel equally as burnt out as we do. Another two no-ship days are here. We hardly know what to do with ourselves so we sit in our hotel rooms having movie marathons and ordering pizza delivery, all the while trying to rally our spirits to maintain the enthusiasm for just another 5 days. Everyone is tired: tired of the season, tired of the politics, tired of answering the same 5 questions over and over again. There is so much joy in the memories but we're all ready for the next big thing.

Everyone is anxious for the next step. Some have already gone back to school, a few have decided to stay in Juneau. Camille is getting married, Nick and Nick are moving to Vegas to hit it big in the Poker circuit. Ericka and Debs are road tripping, like myself. Brit, Hillary and Laura are going to Europe, and the other Nick is heading to Texas for a while. Jessica is moving to Bellingham and Amy is going to Hawaii to drive buses there. And some aren't sure what's next, but there's no shame in that. It's weird to think that my closest friends over the last few months will no longer be around; we all came together from very different places and all of a sudden we are dispersing and heading out in completely opposite directions once again. My new found love of seasonal work comes with one drawback: the impermanence of friendships. I know that I will try to stay in touch with all these people, and of course I now have friends all over the world, but it is never easy to say goodbye especially when you're not sure when you'll see these people again. I hope it is soon.

Alaska changed me. I'm not entirely sure that I can say exactly how I've changed over the course of the summer, but I know that it's real and that I feel more awake and alive than I ever have. Perhaps the harshness of this place has caused my ideals to lower their standards to a more realistic level, or maybe I have become more aware of myself and what I need to remain sustained. I understand that nothing is permanent and that you can't please everyone (and that this is okay). Perhaps I am not as humble as I like to think I am. I've learned that healthy relationships can get through anything, especially when that love is unconditional and comes from the bottom of one's heart, but also that sometimes even the best of friends have to let go and give each other time to grow independently. All in all, my time here in Alaska has been a very positive experience, though there are a few things that will forever taint my memory of this place - but I hope that those memories will transform into stories to laugh over years from now. I know that in these months to come, as I reflect back on my time here in Juneau, AK, driving tour buses, I will begin to understand what each of those important moments meant - the moments where I faltered, where I floundered, or where I flourished. They all have significant meanings for my life and I can't wait to discover what they are, because all of them together will help me to grow as a person and better understand who I really am underneath all of the sense of adventure that swells inside of me.

Day #89: Sunshine & Good Times

So much has been happening over the last week! On Wednesday, a woman (travelling by herself, and who was very sweet) found a $50 bill on my bus and loved me so much that she decided to give it to me instead of keeping it for herself. "Consider it a gift from God," she said. It certainly was. That same day I decided that Whale Watching & Salmon Bake tours are my favorite because the folks get to eat afterwards, so they are psyched on life. Interestingly enough, though, after all this promise of working crazy busy days and having so many tours to give everyone, our hours have been significantly cut and we are no longer getting to stay with the entire group for the whole tour. We also had our first no ship days: Friday there were zero ships in port all day, and Sunday we had one ship in but it was a Royal Caribbean ship, who we don't drive for. Because the weather has been FABULOUS these days off having been awesome.

Friday was awesome. I woke up and went to breakfast with Nick. Later on in the afternoon, I met up with some friends (Jess, Brit, Becca, Debs & her sister) and we went thrift store shopping. At Salvation Army I found a white 100% wool sweater that fits perfectly for $4 and at The Closet I found a down vest for $17, another fuzzy vest for my mom, a gypsy skirt and a bag (I can't believe I haven't had a purse until now). The vest and the sweater will be great for cold desert nights this fall! After that, we went to get frozen yogurt and I gorged myself on the goodness; then we saw the movie Contagion, which I could have done without. It was a great day of bonding with some great people.

Saturday the weather really opened up. I worked early in the morning, and after work Stephanie, Josiah, Jessica and I went out the road to Eagle Beach and walked around in the mud flats. I'm not sure why we were surprised when we wound up in the mud up to our knees, but it sure was a fabulous afternoon of being outside in the gorgeous sun. When we came back we had dinner at the Island Pub with a bunch of folks to celebrate Deborah's birthday. We danced and ate great food and talked about our plans for the future. Saturday night we took a company van out to North Douglas and camped out on the beach until 2 looking for the northern lights, since it was a clear night. It was unsuccessful, but it was a really fun night hanging out with friends!

Yesterday was also pretty cool! Went to breakfast again with some friends out in the valley, then afterwards took the scooter all the way out the road with Jessica. That was quite the adventure! We were gone for 5 hours, wore too little clothing, saw some great scenery but made the mistake of waiting for someone to pick us up on the way back to find out a little too late that they actually weren't coming after all. (An hour of daylight and warmth wasted!) But we made it back in one piece with a great story to tell. I even went out again last night, by myself, for an hour or so to see if I could find some northern lights. Again, I was not successful, but I do really hope that by the time I go home I will be able to say that I saw them!!

Since so many people have left, the small group of people that is still here has become really tight knit and close. I've been bonding with people I didn't think I would bond with, all because we're all here until the "bitter end" and we can share this beautiful weather. There are about ten days left until I come home, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm feeling ready for my next adventure. But until then, I have some great friends to make a few last memories with and to enjoy every last second of my time here in beautiful Juneau, AK. I just can't believe that this summer is already over!!

Day #83: Keeping Things Interesting

It's been a really crazy couple of days here! Yesterday was 10.5 hours, today was 12.75 and tomorrow is supposed to be almost 13 for me. Yesterday and today have produced some of the most noteworthy groups of the summer, for several reasons. Last night, for example, I gave an Evening Quest tour (whale watching with dinner on board the ship) to the craziest group of the summer - they simple refused to not have a good time. We started out with laughs, laughed the whole way out, I toured a little but mostly we just had a great time. On the way back we had some more laughs about headlights and drinking. The coolest thing about this tour, though, was a moment that we shared on the return back to their ship. I had been toying with the idea, lately, of singing a different song for my guests, and I settled on one of the pieces I sang for my grad school auditions (Leonard Cohen's hallelujah). The trial run was with this group that I completely felt like I had bonded with, this evening quest, and something really magical happened: during the chorus, they all joined in. There was something about those moments, singing hallelujah with a group of people I'd never met before and may never meet again, in the darkness of a rainy but beautiful Alaskan night, that really made me feel connected to these strangers in a way I'd never experienced before. I've always known that music can heal and bring people together, but I think that last night really demonstrated for me the depth to which this concept can be stretched. I told these folks that they were awesome and that I'd shout out to them here on my blog, and I just want to say that I really meant what I said last night! I will never forget those brief but beautiful moments here in my summer in Alaska that sparked a new inspiration for my life ahead of me. Thank you for sharing them with me. (Leave a comment if you feel so inclined!! :) )

Today held some different but equally wonderful folks. I gave a couple of tours today and for some reason I had a few people who just thought I was the best thing since sliced bread. It was one of those days in which people very much appreciated the services that I could offer them. There were two ladies from California on my Glacier/Tram tour who were so super sweet that it was hard not to just talk with them the whole time (though the rest of the group was great too!), and at the end of the day they gave me entirely too much money. Honestly, I wanted these ladies to adopt me and take me home with them, they were so sweet. Last night and today were honestly two days that it wouldn't have mattered much what they tipped me - I just had such a great time spending time with them and showing them around Juneau.

Hats off to really great tourists, entertaining tourists, and a whole slough of awesome memories that will accompany me across my many travels this fall. Best wishes and good luck with everything, Kristin. :)

Day #78: Uh Oh, My Coach Won't Start!

Finally, my time came! My motor coach broke down on me today. Surprisingly, I was really glad it happened, especially in the way that it happened; it couldn't have been worked out more smoothly. I laughed through the whole situation because of this, and because it was just so comical. When it was time to pick up my guests at the glacier and take them to their whale watching boat, all of a sudden, my coach wouldn't start. Jessica, who was with me in the lot and who has had her coaches break down on her like 8 or 9 times, was on it within seconds troubleshooting with the battery and the engine compartment. Then her and Nick Steffl fabricated a plan: he would take my folks out to the whale watch while I waited for the mechanics to show up and fix the coach. They saved the day, and I couldn't have done it without them! I let my guests know what happened and reassured them that Nick was just as good of a driver as I am, and that I would meet up with them later to bring them back to town. They had a good laugh about it. It all worked out in the end since it was a fairly easy going day and I had enough time for the shop to come out and tell me that my coach just needed to be jumped. Something about a 12 volt and a 24 volt battery...? Yeah, I'm not sure. But it all worked out in the end, and everyone on the bus assured me as they got off that they had a wonderful time! It was a great day and an equally great learning experience.

The best part of the day was that it turned out to be a beautiful day! By early afternoon the skies were blue and the sun was shining. It was so great to finally get some vitamin D and feel good about life. We hung out during our stage time in the parking lot at Safeway on our stools eating a pie Deb bought for $3 and just soaking up the sun; later at the BIMA (the dock where we pick up the whale watchers) we hung out in the sun and took some great photos. It seriously lifted my spirits to see blue skies and the sun shining down on the mountains and the city. I'm feeling great about these last 3 weeks until I head home for my next great adventure!

Day #75: It Pays To Be Positive

Literally. I made the mental commitment today to staying positive and enjoying the rest of my time here in Juneau, and it didn't hurt that it stopped raining with a little cloud lift today to brighten my spirits. The more I savor the moments the quicker they seem to pass - because time flies when we're having fun, right? I'm stuck between trying to soak in the last few drops of fun and being impatient to go home. That's okay, both are pulling at me equally and I'm fine with it. But today, my positive attitude was rewarded with some really appreciative folks who were quite generous at the end of the day.

Inspired by a facebook post from one of the drivers who left last week, I added up some numbers to summarize what I have done so far this summer. The list is absolutely fascinating. So far this summer, from June 16th to August 28th:

Miles driven: 4,265 miles
Tours given: 55
Separate transfers made: 52
Days of transfers only: 7
Days spent with an hour or more of shuttle: 13
Average tips/tour: $30
Days off: 13
Days worked: 62
Hours worked: 560
Hours per day: Approx. 9
Hours per week: Approx. 56

I don't know if this gives you any insight into what my summer has been like or not, but it has absolutely flown by. As cheesy as it may sound, it really has been a whirlwind - so many great memories of beautiful moments spent with amazing people from all over the country, but here at the end they all seem to blur together. Every day I when I write in my log book I feel as though I am asking myself, how is it already August 28th? I'm going to add another list here; this is a list of all the wonderful moments that stick out in my head.

1. The scoot ride with Nick out to North Douglas Island on a cloudless day.
2. Ultimate frisbee the second night after we got into town, on a beautiful evening.
3. Hanging out & hiking with Daniel - especially comping the Taku Lodge tour.
4. Both silent dance parties.
5. Learning to fish with Pat out near the end of the road.
6. That first night I felt a sense of belonging; deep convos with both Nick & Pat.
7. The fourth of July. Great friends, great fireworks.
8. Group hike out the West Glacier Trail to the ice caves.
9. Getting paid to ride a helicopter and go on a dog sledding tour.
10. Going out to the glacier with friends after the lake flooded.
11. Those 3 days of high 70-degree weather and that one AWESOME tour.
12. All of the great hiking: Mt. Roberts, Mt. Juneau, Perseverance, etc.
13. The first discovery of the Waffle Co.

I feel like this list could probably go on but these are the ones I can really think of. Perhaps I will add some more to this list over the next 3 and a half weeks until I leave, and I certainly know that there are still plenty of good times to come. The nearness of the end has begun to make me both giddy and slightly sad to leave these memories and these friends behind, but I know there are so many more adventures to come...

Day #71: Alaskans Don't Believe in Switchbacks

Josiah and I hiked Mt. Juneau today. Correction: we didn't hike Mt. Juneau, we CLIMBED it. It rises 3500 feet in 2 miles, and literally goes straight up the side of the mountain. When asked, Alaskans will say "what do you mean there are no switchbacks?" This was easily the most taxing hike I've ever committed to, but it was also the most rewarding. (For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, check out the video I took from the summit that I posted on my wall... absolutely incredible.) The 360 view from the top was a humbling reminder of how small I am in relationship to this great wide world, and of how great this northern land really is. It is interesting, though, how much an extremely physically demanding hike straight up a mountain can intensify the feeling of utter beauty when one reaches the summit. I felt transformed.

As we made our way back into town, I realized how much it felt like a lifetime ago that we had started this trail to the top. Standing on the top of that mountain, Alaska spread out before me in the infinite bliss of wildlife, glacier blue seas, and rugged snow-capped mountains as far as the eye can see, I felt indescribable. Some combination of invincible and defeated, alive and spiritual, utterly alone and yet one with the rest of the planet. If every day could be spent like this, I would be completely happy.

Day #70: A World of Ups and Downs

I realize that my life is a roller coaster. Sometimes I am up, sometimes I am down, and sometimes (though they seem to be more rare than anything) I am just in between. A lot of days these are extremes - I am really high or really low. Our society seems to put a negative emphasis on people who aren't as stable emotionally, and I don't doubt that an emotional stasis might be more healthy on some levels; but the more I learn about the breadth of the human condition, the more I tell myself just to accept it. I am who I am because I am an all or nothing person; this applies to everything from my friendships to hobbies, from emotional levels to tastes and aversions. I may as well love myself for the unimportant character "flaws" I possess. That being said, I can control myself, but I obviously can't control others, so when my close friends around me look down on me for me for these up and down roller coaster emotions, it's really hard for me to feel great about loving myself in spite of their disapproval. I'm trying to stay true to myself without stepping on any toes. So not only am I learning a lot about myself here in Alaska, I'm learning a lot about relationships with others and how those change with changing environments.

This brings me to something I heard Debs say the other day that I can't get out of my head. She said she has learned a lot over the last year about staying constant - what she meant was figuring out how to remain true to yourself when the world around you or the environments you put yourself in are changing. I think about my journey to this point in my life and I wonder how well I have accomplished this. On a surface level, when I came here, nothing changed. I still like to spend time outdoors, travel, adventure into things that might be slightly beyond my comfort zone; but on a deeper, more emotional level, am I the same? I think there is more behind this question than I even understand at this moment, and it makes me wonder what secrets of life I might stumble across next.

Needless to say, I am feeling better, though work has become monotonous and more of a chore than fun anymore. I will start my countdown, because I am really looking forward to the SUN and to travelling with that special someone, but I'm also going to cherish these last 4 weeks and 2 days before I go home. Anything is possible, and I am blessed to have a way to fund my travels, so I will wear a smile on my face and enjoy each remaining second in this beautiful land that is the great northern state. Alaska has been wonderful to me.

(Side note. Dumbest tourist question ever: where can I buy postcards in town?)

Day #66: Hopelessness Blues

Flood warnings. Swollen rivers and lakes. A brown Gastineau Channel. Six inches of rain in four days? Well it's not like we had a choice.

I love Juneau. I have loved my time here and the friends I have made. But now it's really just stale bread, and I can't digest it much longer. It'll be moldy soon; then I'll be forced to hang on to something that has potential to leave a sour taste in my mouth for quite some time...

Yesterday turned out to be okay. None of the tourists want anything to do with the rain; it's like they didn't associate Alaska with wet, crappy weather. Really? I did one tour with full stage time (I sat around for 3 hours waiting for the group to get back from whale watching) which is really just long enough for me to sit in the bus in the rain and think about how much I miss home. Today I woke my butt up to do one quick transfer - 3.5 hours of work. I'm done, I'm tired, I feel broken. I have this horrible pit in my stomach thinking about how Daniel has been completely MIA for almost 5 days now. Most of all though, I resent the photos of my friends climbing in cool places, in the SUNSHINE. My heart has grabbed onto the idea of my travels this fall and now I can't get it out of my head. I want it to be now.

Day #65: Waking Up to More Rain

Good morning. I have worked every day since Daniel left, and in those 6 days I have worked 57 hours. I am not complaining - time is rushing past me in a whirlwind making me more and more relieved every day that goes by. Alyssa leaves in 2 weeks. I leave in 5. Holy crap, where has this summer gone?

On Tuesday I drove up and down the mine road 5 times. This is a road that is one lane, for 2 way traffic, with switchbacks, and our company has a specific radio channel dedicated to drivers using this road so that we can always be in communication. Well for whatever reason, I couldn't hear the other driver until we were face to face, wondering where the heck this person came from and which one of us was going to volunteer to back up a large section of road. It was me. I backed up a quarter of a mile with 8 guests on board, but I did so "impressively" because everyone kept saying how impressed they were. Okay, great, I spent the entire rest of the day triple checking the radio so I wouldn't have to do it again. Now the reason I drove up and down this road was to take folks out to a dog camp where they would do some dog mushing and get a tour of Gold Rush Dog Camp, and I got to go along on one of these tours. I don't look excited in the photo because I had no idea there was a photo being taken of me. The best part was when I got to hold 16 day old puppies!

Wednesday was a very interesting day. My first tour went awesome, then I had a second tour that was just basically a shuttle out to the glacier for a hour or so and then back. This group of people had it out for me. First, I had one guy who was on the wrong tour, but was happy about it, so he went out to get his ticket changed and forgot to give me back the ticket. So now I had 28 people sitting on my bus and 27 tickets in my hand, and when I asked everyone if they had given me their tickets everyone said yes. Protocol at this point is to hand out tickets to every person, then collect them again, so Von and I do this. Gentleman remembers his ticket, but even with his ticket this time we only count 26 tickets. Pass them all out again. Recollect, count 26, everyone is confused and a weird mixture of really frustrated and really humored. I go through each row, you gave me yours, you gave me yours, etc. until finally one lady realizes she forgot to give me her comp ticket for 2 the second go around. Woohoo! Success! At this point we are ten minutes late and I've already promised them a little extra time at the glacier, so I hustle them out there - we have a great time. They think I'm funny and interesting, and two older couples up front think I am just the highlight of their vacation. But the story isn't over yet!! We get everyone back on the bus, and I count 27 heads. We wait ten minutes, as company policy states, and no one else shows up. I ask if anyone is missing anyone from their party, everyone says no, and I scratch my head trying to remember who was by himself. Twelve minutes go by past my pickup time and I do a fifth head count just to be sure when one gentleman towards the back says, you counted this one laying down in the back right? Are you kidding me?? I couldn't see this little girl curled up in a seat this whole time. Well by now this group thinks this is just the most hilarious thing, which is wonderful because they could have just as easily been a group of angry impatient tourists. I tell them stories the whole way back in light of our crazy times together, and after they love my send off song they all join me in a round of do-a-dear from the sound of music. That was the first time a group ever sang with me, and it was a great grand finale to the wackiest tour I've ever given.

That night I got off at 915pm after an 11 hour day to get to wake up for a 515 start time to take someone from management to the airport. As you can imagine, I was not psyched on this, but it was nice getting off at 145 having worked 8+ hours already. Last night there was a company barbecue and a softball game against our rival driving company (Alaska Coach Tours). They won, but we all got free food. It was also a going away barbecue for all the folks leaving - there are about 25-30 people leaving in the next 2 weeks (meaning work might start getting crazy here soon). After the barbecue I went out to the Alaskan with some friends from Gastineau Guiding and watched Alyssa perform at open mic night with another one of our driver friends. It was a great night, even Pat came out at the end. Hopefully he will go to breakfast with me this morning. :)

Day #60: Weather on the Fritz

So yesterday was a beautiful day - actually, the first cloudless day since I have been here. I was in a small vehicle and had a mine tour followed by a deluxe, which is a 5 hour tour and nothing to get excited about. My groups were both happy, though somewhat asleep, and tipped me well. When I got off work, Nick texted me wondering if I wanted to take the road out to North Douglas, so we hopped on his scooter that is way too small for 2 people and headed up there. Of course, Nick had more energy than anyone should ever have, so he was wired and making all sorts of awesome sound effects and noises throughout this journey. But the sunset was glorious, and since neither of us had been up there, we got a whole new perspective of the valley. From one of the beaches you can see across the channel to the Mendenhall Glacier. We took the road all the way up to the sign that says "end" and I started to feel almost claustrophobic; being unable to leave easily is one of the things that really turns me off to the prospect of ever living year round in Juneau. I realized that I need the freedom to move about with a car in order to stay healthy mentally, though this 3 month period will be just fine.

Today the rain came back - it poured most of the day which usually puts the tourists in a less excited state. That being said, my day was relatively uneventful except for the fact that I was able to go grocery shopping for the first time in a couple of weeks today. The result is that I will only spend half a fortune on food instead of a full one because now I have food for all of my meals throughout the day. I made myself dinner here at the hotel for the first time in over a month, and it was the first meal I hadn't bought out in 2 weeks. I had time to get food because I had enough time between my duties, one of which was another mine tour. I hope that I don't have to do another one of those for a while - they are super boring and don't usually turn up any tips. Tomorrow should be a long day, and hopefully one with some good tours. Hope you all are well, another update soon...

Day #59: Back to the Grind

Daniel left this afternoon, while I was at work. We had a wonderful week, and I was pretty sad to see him leave, but I am also excited to get back to the grind to build my monetary cushion for our travels together this fall. We were quite busy, so here's the quick update:

Monday: I worked, Daniel slept in, and I was able to get him on a canoe tour in which he canoed out to the glacier in a giant canoe. He really enjoyed it.

Tuesday: I requested a couple of tours that Daniel could ride along on, so in the morning we visited the Rainforest Gardens & then got lunch while all of my guests were at the glacier. Then in the afternoon I was able to get him on a whale watching tour. He loved both of these tours.

Wednesday: I had a tedious 14 hour day, after which I met up with Daniel and cried in his arms about some horribly rude guests. I won't go into detail about what they did, but I was really glad to have him there to comfort me. He is so good to me. We ended the evening by meeting Pat out at the bar for his birthday where I promptly bought him a drink then excused ourselves for bed time because we were so exhausted.

Thursday: At this point we were both spent. Thursday was spent watching movies and being lazy. I'm pretty sure we only left the hotel room once and that was really just to go downstairs in the hotel for dinner.

Friday: Friday was the highlight for sure. In the morning, we took a walk out to the flume between Mt. Roberts & Mt. Juneau just to get out of the hotel room. We weren't sure yet if a tour was going to happen. Well everything came through beautifully and we wound up getting on the Taku Lodge tour - they take you up in a float plane out across from the hole-in-the-wall glacier to the historic Taku Lodge. There they feed you a deliciously fresh salmon dinner (salmon roasted on the grill outside as well as steamed apples with cranberries, baked beans, freshly made biscuits, cole slaw, and fresh bread) and then take you on a brief nature walk around the grounds of the lodge. The history of the place was incredible, and the wildlife was awesome - there were two guys who pretty much get paid to chase bears away from the grill and into the trees! After they were done cooking the salmon, they let the bears lick the juices off the grill, and we got a great view of them up close (from inside of course).

This week with Daniel was a highlight of my summer - and he said the same thing. I think he really enjoyed Alaska (possibly a lot more than he thought he would). Something about the ruggedness and the lack of fluff here really inspired something wonderful inside of him; something is alive now that makes him desire to live completely without luxury. I am with him on that. We both really enjoyed our time together, though we both were anxious to get back to our summer plans and finish what we started. Talks about this fall continue in the direction they've always been. For now, I am going to work really hard for the rest of the summer and save up as much money as possible in order to live as cheaply as possible while travelling come October.

Missing you all but keepin' on truckin'.

Day #54: Daniel is Inspired by AK!

Yesterday was a late start due to the fact that I got called into work, on one of my days off, to run on shuttle for 2 hours. Daniel rode with me and got really bored (understandably). By the time I was relieved it was too late in the day to comp anything, and the one tour we made it onto we got bumped from again. So we borrowed my friend Nick's scooter (it is slightly scary driving 40 on a 55 mph freeway) and went out to the west glacier trail and hiked out to the glacier and the ice cave. Daniel was psyched - he kept saying how this was easily the coolest place he's ever been. I'm continuing to tease him because he wasn't very excited to come here in the first place (only excited to see me) but now I think he finally understands the draw and the beauty of Alaska.

Today I have to work a full day, but unfortunately it's nothing to get excited about. Hopefully I'll be off early enough to get to climb with Daniel after work! I'll have to work tomorrow and Wednesday as well; maybe they'll be nice with my schedule. Thursday and Friday I will have off as well to hopefully get on a heli with Daniel before he heads home on Saturday. Then it is only a month until I'll go home and head out on my journey with him! Hooray!

Day #53: Glaciers, Hikes, and Helis

Daniel got here on Friday, so we've been very busy. I picked him up at the airport at 9:30, then we went to the Waffle Co. and the glacier and hung out there for a bit. After that we came back to the hotel and watched a movie, then went to the Twisted Fish Company for dinner (which was delicious!) Yesterday was awesome - we went to the top of the tram and then hiked to the top of Gastineau Peak, which was socked in at the very top, but it was still fun. On the way down, we tried to see if we could get on some helis, but at the very last minute we got bumped because they sold the last tickets. That was okay, we're going to try again today, after I work for 2 hours or so (they called me in to drive shuttle for an hour and a half, oh goody). Hoping for some dog sledding action here!! :)

It's been really nice having Daniel here. I'm reminded about how wonderful our relationship is when it quickly falls back into place. It's so easy and relaxed, and we never fight or really even disagree about anything. It seems like we're usually in the mood to do the same things, and even if we're not, we're both so flexible with each other that it doesn't matter. I'm a happier, more laid back camper when he is around. We're continuing to talk through our plans for this fall, and it sounds like 3 months of travelling, camping and climbing are still definitely in the works.

Day #48: Another Day, Another Dollar

I had 2 back to back deluxe tours, which are the longest tours I've given thus far (4.5 hours to spend with a group), so I spent my day at the glacier, the hatchery, and the gardens. Now I'd say that these are probably the 3 coolest sights in Juneau, except for maybe whale watching, so it was easy for me to get stoked for my guests. The second group was especially peppy; I had no problem bonding with them. All things said and done, some really noteworthy things happened today, in my long 14 hour day. At the glacier, a bear came within 10 feet of me - he just waltzed out of the woods, crossed the street right in front of me like he does it a hundred times a day, and then disappeared into the woods on the other side of the street. All the while, people are all around him snapping photos and he hardly even blinks. Then, when I was doing a couple of runs of shuttle, a man jumped out (not paying attention of course) right in front of my bus, and I was within inches of hitting him! He barely even looked twice as he watched me drive by. I couldn't believe what had just happened, and it definitely stunned me. Also, I broke my record for tips (not on a single tour, but for the entire day). It was a great day - I walked away feeling like I gave 70 people a fabulous time today, having had a great time myself.

I started reading "127 Hours, Between a Rock and a Hard Place" by Aron Ralston and I'm totally loving it. He's the dude who winds up cutting off his own arm with a dull knife after he gets pinned under a rock. Once again, I find myself constantly chilled (in a good way) with descriptions of how he feels being out in nature and enjoying the simplicity of it all. I can always relate. But there was one thing in particular that he said that just totally gripped at every one of my heart strings. It was this, page 13: "There's a mostly unspoken acknowledgment among the voluntarily impoverished dues-payers of [Aspen and Moab] that it's better to be fiscally poor yet rich in experience - living the dream - than to be traditionally wealthy but live separate from one's passions." I can't say that anyone has ever summed it up more accurately than that for me. Being here in Alaska just makes me realize that I'm too young to settle down and have a serious job, and maybe I'll always be too young at heart for that. I just want to keep working these crazy adventurous jobs where I get to be outside, see beautiful places, meet wonderful people, and have more fun than actually making any decent money.

Anyway, life is great, things are going much better than a couple of days ago. I am feeling much better, thank goodness. And of course, Daniel flies in Friday morning; he'll be here 9 days and I have 5 of those days off to show him how we do things AK style, now that I finally understand what that means. :) Tomorrow will be something new, as always, and hopefully I have something interesting to report.

Day #46: Sometimes I Ask Myself...

Is there anything meaningful about what I am doing here? All I did today was drive in circles around the same mile of road for 4 hours, carting tourists back and forth and answering the same 5 questions a hundred and fifty times. Boring. I mean, I'm grateful for hours, but I walked away from today feeling like I accomplished nothing.

I'm feeling down today. It is raining, I had a pointless day, and once again I am comparing myself to others. I feel overshadowed and under appreciated. It's hard not to feel put down when I can see visible disappointment on others' faces when it's me who opens the door; and I can't tell if this place is more constructive or destructive towards my growth as a person on days like today. I know that my hopelessness blues are deep and intense when they happen, but this is precisely the problem. This doesn't happen quite so exaggerated when I am around people that I truly believe care about me. The only thing I feel that is holding my pieces together tonight is the fact that Daniel will be here on Friday. Otherwise, I would feel like letting myself fall apart.

Sorry for the dramatic and depressing update. I hope that this passes and that I can put a smile back on my face tomorrow. I know I'm hormonal right now, but it doesn't mean that there isn't some validity in how I am feeling...

(Edit: I forgot to mention that yesterday, during one of my infinite circles, I met a photographer who had climbed Mount Shasta just about a week ago with Jeremy Jones & company. Dude lives in Lake Tahoe and just shoots snowboarders for a profession. What a great way to live - he was very nice and very humble, which I always think is fabulous.)

Day #44: Another Week Passed

A few days have passed since I've updated this thing, so here I am again with only a few new things to share. On Tuesday (usually a 13+ hour day) I didn't wind up working at all. Funny story actually - I had breakfast with my friend Pat, whose clutch in his truck went out just before he made it for our rendezvous. He offered to give me a ride to work in his clutch-less truck anyway, but we got in the truck and it wouldn't start, so he told me I should probably just walk. Now, it was pouring rain on Tuesday. So I started walking, made it halfway to work at the parking lot where the tram is, and I see Pat drive by. Perfect. Then I got to work soaking wet to find out all of my duties (the helicopters) were cancelled, so I could just go home. We had a good laugh about it (shortly after I socked him). On Wednesday I got in trouble at the glacier because my group asked me to hang out there with them, but the ranger lady tracked me down and said that I wasn't allowed to accompany them because it was considered "guiding." Apparently there is only one company in town who is allowed to "guide" around the glacier, so I got in trouble. Then I had a couple of uneventful days.

Yesterday evening was pretty fun - about half the company showed up for a birthday celebration for one of the older drivers. He is a very sweet man from the south with a great sense of humor. We had dinner at the Thane Ore House, which is a giant all you can eat buffet where they cook the food in front of you. There was salmon, halibut, ribs, beans, salad, corn bread, and we brought the cake. Afterward we played horseshoes and drank all of the establishment's supply of beer; what a great time! This morning, since I had the day off, I went fishing with Pat and I caught a chum salmon! He'll send me the picture, and I'll post it for your viewing pleasure when I get it. :) It was very exciting; when Daniel gets here, we're going to try to catch a silver or a king salmon that we can cook and eat ourselves. And! I just got home from seeing Cowboys & Aliens with my friend Nick. So it's been a chill day here in Juneau.

PS. Daniel will be here in a week!!
PPS. Oma I know you have been reading this, so HI and I LOVE YOU!
PPPS. I'm going to learn how to ride this dirtbike soon!

Day #40: Things Are Heating Up

There's a lot of drama happening around the Juneau division these days and I'm trying to avoid it like the plague. The "simple" task of trying to remain under the radar can be exhausting, especially when you're trying to find the perfect balance between not screwing up and making it known that you're good at your job. I won't go into any detail, for one because it stresses me out to think about it, but also because it doesn't do any good to bitch and moan about something that probably won't change, though I will say this: I feel like I need to walk on eggshells for a couple of weeks. I'm terrified of screwing up.

So needless to say, today was something else. Talk about mood swings on my end. Woke up feeling exhausted; had some coffee, felt great; lost my name tag, which I hate because I feel like my guests need to know my name; had a rough start to my day (I think I may have gotten off on the wrong foot with my guests); worked longer than expected (I am grateful for the hours, I just wish I could have eaten!!); and then of course had problems parking my bus and doing my post-trip stuff because of fatigue. Now I must say that I am quite proud of myself for keeping a smile and a positive attitude throughout the day, especially with the storm howling all around me. I am now fed, about to go to bed, sleep in and have breakfast with a friend (I work a half day tomorrow), so I am happy.

(I do need to add one more note, for myself, so that I can remember a moment I had with a very nice couple from Oklahoma yesterday. I got to the docks and it was raining and cold, now I was shivering and welcoming some tourists to Juneau when this couple sitting on a bench called out asking if I was cold. When I replied yes, they scooted away from each other about 8 inches and motioned for me to sit in between them. I sad down, and they squeezed together and put their arms around me, rubbing my arms and trying to warm them up. All the while, they chatted with me about how wonderful Alaska is and how sweet I seemed to be. I was disappointed when they weren't on my tour, but later on in the day I got added to a duty in which I got to see them again!! They were so excited to see me that they sat in the front seat and enthusiastically answered my trivia questions on their return to the ship. God really shined through this couple - as they left, gave me hugs, and said sincerely "God bless you, Kristin," I told them I'd never forget them and meant it.)

Day #38: A Day of Firsts

A short day: 7 hours. My first transfer was cancelled; took a nap in the back of my bus. Then I had a combo tour (glacier, salmon hatchery, then to the salmon bake for a feast), with a rambunctious group of older folks off of a carnival ship. They were very fun, tipped me well, and provided me with a whole lot of firsts: one gentleman (probably late 60's) gave me a dollar bill that he had folded into a ring with some bills stuffed in it; that same gentleman practically took his shirt off in the salmon hatchery to show me all of his tattoos (two half sleeves, and both sides of his torso were completely covered with a pheonix and a mountain lion), and then I showed him a couple of mine; another gentleman from New Zealand tipped me with a calendar from his country after I told him how badly I want to visit it; and I met another family of Williamsons. What a hilarious list of events today, huh?

I would just like to say that it has been sunny for 5 days in a row now. I'm afraid that I'm getting used to it - I know that when it goes away I'll probably be very depressed! I'm pretty stoked to say, though, that I think I'm finally (as of about a week ago) really psyched to be here in Alaska. Maybe it's that I've settled in, or that I've already saved a ton of money, OR that I'm making fabulous friends, but there are definitely too many reasons why Juneau has treated me well so far. The weather has been great, the hiking is fabulous, the company is wonderful, and the work is really, really fun. I'm no longer counting down the days until I come home, I am simply existing and living & loving life. I am, however, counting the days until Daniel gets here: 13!! Just can't wait!!

Day #36: Daily Shenanigans

So it's been a busy couple of days! Tuesday was a 14 hour day, with my biggest tip tour yet. I learned a lesson that day to not judge a group preemptively after I assumed they wouldn't tip me at all; they gave me the biggest tip on a tour I've gotten since I've been here (and now I know that all groups sheould be treated the same!). Yesterday was a hectic day - I had three of the exact same tours, but they intertwined, so I had to keep lists of what I told each group so I wouldn't wind up repeating myself. On this day I learned to solidify my tour and do everything I can to not repeat myself. Now let me just say that doing 3 of the same exact tours back to back for 11 hours is very exhausting - by my last return trip I was so pooped I couldn't wait to go home. But this group turned out to be great; I had some new folks who'd been driven out by a different driver and so I decided to play Alaska/Juneau trivia with them, and they LOVED it. They gave me the energy for the last push back into town. What a hoot, these people were partying! They also gave me a round of applause for a very tight turn and treated me well. :)

Today was a day off, and it was a great day!! This morning I woke up early to meet my friend Pat for a hike - we hiked up the Perseverance Trail which used to be the access road into the Alaska-Juneau Mine. It was a giant system of trails, most of which we hiked, and then at the end of the last trail we continued on even further (bush whacking, true Alaska style) where we found some old mine ruins. We found a giant caved in building, some mine shafts and tunnels. I'd say we walked a good 10 miles today, which felt great, and luckily the weather was beautiful (clear and 80!). Spending the morning under big blue sunny Alaskan skies was an absolute dream come true. I decided that when Daniel gets here we are going to hike the 3 mile, extremely treacherous, intensely strenuous Blackerbee Trail up to the Juneau Icefield. I'm pretty sure he'd love it. The trails here are awesome - they all have so many great views and tons of history.

After I got home from my hike with Pat I took a nap, but we heard that Mendenhall Lake was flooded, so Alyssa and I went up to the glacier with Sean, Nick S & Nick H. Turns out, a reservoir of water on top of the glacier had been let loose when its dam broke free, and due to this breakage the lake where the glacier lets up is now 8 feet higher. It's supposed to level itself out over the next several days but until then you can only walk a small fraction of the way out to the glacier. So we goofed around out there for a bit, took some photos, then headed back out the channel to do some fishing. We found one of the creeks where the salmon run and many of my friends were able to catch them with their bare hands!! It was quite the sight - tons of salmon everywhere in the river and lots of eagles just chillin, waiting for dinner. We had many laughs, gave a random drunk guy a ride back into town, then headed up into the valley for some late night McFlurries from McD's. It was a great day.

Tomorrow I have one tour and a quick transfer, and I'm only scheduled to work for about 6 hours. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, going for a walk around town, and having a great afternoon of driving a bus. All the while I'm going to be dreaming about how Daniel will be here in 2 weeks - I can't wait, we're going to have such a blast!

Day #31: Just Keeping You Updated

It's been a few days, so I thought I would update you all on whats going on. (Who is you all, anyway? I have no idea who reads this.) Thursday was a short day: I went on a mine tour ride along, so I could learn the protocol for the tours - it is up a one lane dirt road and needs your full attention. Then afterwards I had lunch with my good friend Nick, came home, and enjoyed a nap. On Friday, I fully intended to do nothing, but instead James called me up and we went on the float trip down the Mendenhall river. It was pretty chill; there were a few exciting moments of a little bit of rapids but for the most part it was just a float down a river. Since our guide knew we ourselves were guides, we just spent the two hours hanging out and chatting. And another friend was made.

Saturday I gave a mine tour to 7 people, two of which were little boys of about 4. It was interesting, I suppose, but then afterward I just had a bunch of transfers back to ships. It was anticlimatic, in fact, until my friend Nick and I decided to take a walk out to the docks... We wound up having a really intense (but fabulous) conversation about our views on some issues in the world. I didn't realize how much I needed stimulated conversation from someone up here, because up until now everything felt very surfacey. So afterward, with a new energy, I followed some friends out to the bars for the first time since I've been here, had a couple of drinks, and genuinely bonded with some really nice people from around work. I was really glad to establish a connection with someone, because it makes me feel like I am part of this little city in a deeper way now. I feel strangely revitalized - I just hope it lasts.

Today, all I had to do was give a private tour to a family of 19 who chartered the whale watching company for a few hours. They were very nice, out of Park City, Utah, had a great time out on the water, and were very generous to me at the end of the day. Alyssa and I had overlapping schedules, so we staged at Safeway for a couple of hours where we played Bananagrams, did some grocery shopping, and read a little. It was a pretty low key day. Tomorrow I have 2 tours and I am very much looking forward to both of them. How is everyone else doing? I miss you all... Talk to you soon, I hope!

Day #27: Struggle Between Opposites

Today was more or less a relaxing day; I had lots of stage time between runs back and forth from the docks to the ski area so I read a ton of the book I'm reading, which is Lynn Hill's autobiography "Climbing Free." (Lynn Hill was the first woman to free climb [unaided climbing, not to be confused with free soloing without a rope] the Nose of El Cap in Yosemite. She is a huge inspiration to me.) In the 70's and her teen years, she spent her summers in Yosemite climbing with some of the legends of trad climbing, living off of next to nothing but being the happiest she could have imagined. One summer she lived off of $75 for 4 months. She spent her twenties in the 80's road tripping with her boyfriend just exploring different climbing crags, working odd jobs along the way to make it by. The people who surrounded her were supportive and shared her passion for climbing and the outdoors; they became lifelong friends. Her goal was merely freedom and building the relationship with the rocks she sent. So much of me wants to throw my hands up and simply pursue this passion for the free-spirited lifestyle of climbing. I want to be out there right now. But I justify my time here by telling myself that the more I do it, the longer I will be able to live a simple, free life.

Again, I don't meen to insinuate that I'm not having fun or that I don't totally appreciate this experience and opportunity. There are just days, like today, when I wish I were free from this and I could simply strap on my rock shoes, grab my climbing partner, and head out to the crag. (And I know that life can't be like that always, but I'm young and unattached to anything substantial, so I feel like I should take full advantage of that!) Anyway, I came today home from a 12 hour day feeling very worn down and tired. This work is taking a lot out of me; I am recognizing the true value of leisure time, something I'll never take for granted or sacrifice. I don't hate this time here - Juneau is beautiful, especially when it's sunny - but let's just say that when September ends I will be one happy chickling. Basically, I have two sides of my being that are in opposition of each other, and I'm just trying to find a balance between the two... Thanks for your support, everyone.

Day #24: Finally, a Sunny Day

Today was glorious on too many levels. First of all, it is SUNNY, so I am absolutely thrilled to see some peaks around Juneau. Because of this, I was all psyched for my only tour today: a Best of Juneau Tour, which is a whale watching excursion plus a salmon feast out at Orca Point Lodge, and then a few minutes out at the glacier. So I automatically had energy in my favor, but this group was great. They laughed at all of my jokes and absolutely loved me! But I did some things differently today, which I think helped; first of all I tried to make a more personal connection with all of my guests - asked where they were from and then tried my best to remember and remind them that I remembered as I went along. I also let them sit on the edge of their seats the whole tour after I told them I studied voice in college, and I ended the tour with my personal rendition of "So Long, Farewell," from the Sound of Music. Basically it all boiled down to the best day ever: they got to see bubble net feeding (a crazy whale feeding ritual which is not seen by many people), they saw lots of wildlife, the sun was out and it was warm, plus they had the best tour guide of all. :) When they got off the bus at the end of our tour, each one of them gave me a hug, wished me good luck, and told me how much of a blast the tour was. It was easily the best tour I've given and the best group of people I've had. (And I think I've finally figured out some of the great tricks to being an awesome guide!) After they were gone, I was giddy and ecstatic because the energy was contagious - then I counted what I made, and it was TWICE what I've made on my highest paying tour so far. What a GREAT day! I only pray that I didn't get any weird cruise ship illnesses from all the hugs, but that's what washing my hands is for, right?

Day #22: A Couple of Days Off

Yesterday was day 1 of 2 days off - we went for a hike, and it was awesome. Eight of us ventured up the "unmaintained hazardous" West Glacier Trail onto the Mendenhall Glacier and into an ice cave we found there. The hike was awesome with great views and great company, and the ice caves were glorious! The ice inside was glowing so blue that it pretty much illuminated the entire cave. We came back and had dinner in the restaurant downstairs in the hotel, where payment turned out to be extremely complicated, and then we watched the "world premiere" of our silent dance party video. David did a great job editing it, check the video out here (I'm in there in small amounts): youtube video ...Anyway after all of that we finally got to bed pretty late after a really nice day off.

Then we had a second day, and bear in mind that today is Alyssa's birthday! So I asked her what she wanted to do. She wanted to go kayaking, so we grabbed our friend James who has a sailboat and a student ID at the University of Alaska and went to UAS to rent 2 sea kayaks for $10 each for half the day. We kayaked about 2 miles out to the next island in Auke Bay and then came back. It was really fun and relaxing, although I'm sure my arms will be slightly sore tomorrow. Alyssa then wanted to have Thai food for dinner, so several of us went out to the only Thai food restaurant in Juneau for a meal - it was great. Now we're talking about going to see Horrible Bosses downtown tonight, and I may or may not go, but I have to work at 630 tomorrow morning! So we'll see how I feel.

P.S. Been using the new GoPro and I LOVE IT!!
P.P.S. Daniel gets here in 28 days; I couldn't be more stoked!
P.P.P.S. Leave me a comment so I can see who reads this thing! :)

Day #19: It's Been a Busy Week

Sunday was the 3rd of July here, and since we don't have enough darkness at 10pm, in Juneau we celebrate the 4th on the 3rd at midnight. So Sunday evening about 40 of us went over to a coworker's place (he lives on the water on south Douglas) and hung out on the beach until the fireworks. There were probably over 500 people on the beach from houses all along the water, and dozens of bonfires. Someone even built a 40 foot tall wooden replica of Sauron's tower and set it on fire. So we all hung out on the beach until the fireworks, which they set off from a barge in the middle of the channel, and they lasted almost half an hour! It was a great show, and a great time. Then, on Monday, they had a 4th of July parade. Because of some logistics of the parade and the amount of roads they had to shut down to have the parade, we were barred from our destinations and were therefore forced against our will to be paid to watch the Juneau 4th of July Parade. Pretty much our whole fleet was down there, except those who were actually in the parade. It was a really great time - and afterwards, I gave a city tour to a great group. We found a box of ridiculous red white and blue decorations, so we all decorated our buses and uniforms to be more festive. There were a bunch of really weird happenings yesterday as well, and I'll spare you the details, but all in all it was a weird day with a lot of confusion and a lot of pay for not a lot of work.

Today was the 7th consecutive day that I've worked, and I've worked 66 hours in the last 7 days. I therefore only have 14 available hours tomorrow and will probably have the day off. But today was good, except that I slammed my finger in the luggage bay door (my finger is now black and I had to fill out like 6 forms for worker's comp). I was a little tired from having worked 7 days straight, and my tour may have suffered a little because of that, but everything else went really smoothly. I also may have talked Daniel into coming up for a week or so in August. He has never been to Alaska, and we miss each other a lot, so I am really hoping that he will visit! If he does, I'm going to take the week off and comp some tours with him. I think he'd really enjoy dog sledding, a whale watching tour, and probably a helicopter ride! We'll see where he stands in a couple of days, but hopefully I have him convinced!

So now that I've talked to my parents about this, I feel like I can share my possible change of plans with everything. I may not be going to Colorado this fall or winter after all. Daniel and I are going to do a lot of travelling and climbing this fall (City of Rocks, ID, Red Rocks, NV, and probably Red River Gorge, KY). Because we will probably be gone until mid December, timing doesn't work too well for working at any resort in Colorado. This doesn't mean for sure yet that I won't go to CO the following fall for grad school, it just means I'd pay more for an additional quarter if I did. That being said, I feel a great need to travel and be young while I can, and go back to grad school later in life if I still feel that Music Therapy is the path for me. It may not be. Needless to say, I have a lot of soul searching to do over the next year and I'm really excited for all of the endless possibilities. Now I know what you're thinking - and the answer is yes, part of my motivation is, in fact, Daniel. I am serious about my relationship with him and really want to be with him, but the beautiful thing is that it works and that it's really what I've longed for all along. I've finally found that person who simply wants to travel, see the world, and be a dirtbag with me for a while, and I happen to care immensely for that person. We are perfect travel companions and best friends, so it couldn't be more perfect. I want to live my life: be a tumbleweed, find a world outside my own, and do it with someone who makes me incredibly happy. I feel really, really great about this decision; I just thought you all should know that the plan has indeed changed to not having a plan at all...

Day #16: I Love My Job

On days when I stay busy, I really love my job! Today was great because I wound up with an opportunity to tour a group I wouldn't normally have toured (it was just a transfer), and got some really great tips. I dropped them off at the helipad, then would have sat in the parking lot to wait for them to get back, but the owner of the company came out and asked me if I'd like to go along! Naturally, I said no... But really, I went up to the Taku glacier with an awesome pilot named Nate and two couples from Brazil and had a grand little time. So I finished out the rest of my day, made a few more bucks in tips, and came back to the office to find my new Chaco sandals and my GoPro waiting for me! Deborah then let me ride her scooter home, which was super fun, and then I met up with James to climb. All in all, it was a great day, with a great string of events, and I couldn't have asked for much more!

The days are starting to blur together - I don't remember what I did yesterday or Wednesday unless I look at my log book, and I definitely lose track of what day of the week it is. Most days are filled with hours of work that go by really quick and then more hours of hanging out with people around the hotel. Last night, for example, we had a silent dance party, which was basically everyone putting in headphones with the same playlist and dancing down the streets of Juneau (I will post the link to the video when David finishes editing it). We got some weird looks from people since they couldn't hear the music, but it was a total blast! We also surprised one of our managers by barging into the bar screaming happy birthday at the top of our lungs, which she loved and then proceeded to give all 25 of us hugs. So essentially we just have a really great time here - and I am having a blast! My tours are coming together, I am making good money, and I am meeting some fantastic people. This summer is a summer I will never forget :)

Day #13: A Dreary Day

It was an unexpected day off, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the company who didn't have to work today. It's also been pissing rain all day, and I'm still feeling homesick, so needless to say I was a little disappointed not to have the distraction of work today. I called to try to comp a tour today, but I think they were so busy that my request slipped through the cracks, which was alright because I just went back to sleep. When I woke up at noon I decided to go on a hike anyway (I'm from the Northwest, right? I can deal with a little rain). So I hiked by myself up the Mount Roberts Trail, which is about 2.5 miles up to the tram, where I took the tram back down after stopping to get some gifts for friends and family. I got some weird looks from some tourists for being soaked and covered in mud, but surprisingly I met at least 6 people along the trail on my way up.

I am sick of the rain. We never had spring in Bellingham, and it was a long dang winter. It's beginning to take its toll on me. Plus I keep falling onto photos on facebook of people climbing in beautiful, sunny areas and today I would just rather be there and not here. I'm certain these feelings of anxiety will pass. And don't get me wrong; I love this job and the people I get to hang out with every day. I genuinely am happy to be here and I am also super excited to go back to work tomorrow. But when I have too much time on my hands to sit in the rain and think about how I could be out in the warm summer sun somewhere climbing with my best friend, I get a little depressed and homesick. (Furthermore, I feel guilty for feeling this way, which I know I shouldn't.) Basically the moral of the story is to work me lots so I can continue to enjoy the here and now instead of dwelling on other things. Just waiting to see the schedule for tomorrow...

Day #12: Some Good, Some Bad

I was very homesick today. My moods have been a little wacky this week, so this morning I was pretty down in the dumps before I had to be at work at 1230. Daniel helped a little by assuring me that he misses me and that September will be here before we know it; plus, I get to look forward to traveling with him a ton this fall. Anyway, part of the reason I was feeling homesick was because yesterday was a bit of a rough day - I had an older crowd on my tour who gave me a really hard time for being so young (I was booed by the entire bus for not knowing who Wyatt Earp was. "We want an older driver!"). I did some research on my break and came back to them with some better answers, so I think I may have redeemed myself a little bit there. But dispatch assigned me a coach that chugs between gears, which I could tell was uncomfortable for some of my guests, and one gentleman even had the audacity to ask me if I had fueled the coach before I came out. And to top it all off, one woman was able to predict all of the punch lines to all of my jokes, so I barely even got chuckles from the rest of the crowd. They were a hard group to crack. But I made it through and turned around after getting home to go rock climbing at the Rock Dump, which is the gym here in town.

Today I worked a short day (6.5 hours, I feel like they get shorter every day). I honestly had a good time running shuttle though, not that I want to do it every day or anything. I just really enjoy talking to folks and finding out what they choose to do with their one day in Juneau. After getting off of work, a coworker called me and invited me to go climbing again - so I did, and had a great time even though the gym here is nothing to get excited about (it actually concerns me a little bit some of the equipment they deem "safe" to climb on...). Dispatch got posted and I have tomorrow off, something that also concerns me because Tuesdays are our busiest days. Hoping this trend of little/no hours doesn't continue.